To Valhalla and Back
by HawkFrost24
Summary: This is my second full fledged story. I don't know how many of you keep up with Race to The Edge, but this takes place within that universe. Warning angst abound.
1. Chapter 1

Perspective. That one word keeps rolling around in my head. Years of life and it's not something that's taught, but rather its imprinted on the very being of a person. Forcing them to Acknowledge a flaw in their very nature; forcing them to accept an ugly truth that they would have preferred to keep silent. Perspective. A cruel mistress in deed. For some its more light hearted than others. But for others...well I wouldn't still be up this late if it was light hearted. The candle on my bed has since burned out and the only thing I can hear is the rhythmic sound of the rain drops hitting my ceiling. _Plunk (pause) Plunk (pause_ ) and so forth. Sighing I turn on my back. I trace the lines of my ceiling with my eyes, hoping this mindless task will finally appease my subconscious into sleep. I've almost succeeded when I hear it. Something fair tugging at the edges of consciousness Footsteps. After a few seconds it stops, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. My reprieve is short loved because the footsteps are followed by knocking. Loud knocking. On my door. Groaning I get up and attach my prosthetic, but I make no move to get up from my bed. Toothless coos at me curiously. I motion for him to be still. I can guess who's at my door.

"Hiccup?" Her voice is tentative and soft. Almost as if she were speaking to a skittish dragon. I don't respond.

"Hiccup, Hiccup please. I-I know your awake. Can I come in?"

The silence that hangs in the air is so intense it's almost tangible. I stare at the door so intently I was sure it would shatter into pieces. After what seems like an eternity I answer.

"It opens."

The door opens and she slowly enters; shutting it behind her she walks towards me, abruptly stopping roughly 6 feet away. We simply stare at each other, neither of us wanting to be the first to speak. For her part she seemed content to simply be in my presence.

"I Hope you didn't come just to stare." I finally break the ice.

She smiles grimly and inches closer, but still doesn't say anything.

"Astrid?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Nothing. It's just that it's been a while since you've used sarcasm." She says.

"Was there much to be sarcastic about?" I shoot back. Cringing slightly at how biting it sounds.

Astrid doesn't waver. "The rest of them miss you. Even Snoutlout, in his own weird, delusional way. "

"Oh how my heart bleeds at their misery." The cynicism is clearly evident in my voice.

"Hiccup it wasn't your fault. Dagur gave us no prior reason to trust him-

"So him sacrificing himself for us after no one believed him is somehow better?" I interject hotly.

Jumping up from my bed I turn around and run my hands through my hair in frustration. It takes me a minute to realize that Astrid still hasn't responded.

"Well?" Still no response.

I turn around completely to see Astrid struggling to find her words.

"Wait you don't actually think Dagur being dead is a good thing? Do you?"

She wrings her hands.

"Of course not. But Hiccup be real. Dagur would have never been accepted as a dragon rider. I mean his own sister wanted to kill him. Despite his best intentions, or how many times he would have potentially saved our lives, we would always doubt his motives." When she finally speaks it seems as if she's being extra cautious about her choice of words.

I stare at her incredulously.

"And that somehow makes it ok?! If someone doesn't share our ideals they're better off dead! Or better yet lets just kill them ourselves instead of waiting for nature it take its course."

"Hiccup you know damn well that's not what I meant."

"Do I? Do I really Astrid? Because we all know how much you liked Dagur."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She snaps at me darkly.

"Oh as if you didn't know. Going around threatening him every five seconds."

"I was threatening him because of all the times he's tried to kill you! Tried to kill us!"

Clenching her fist she stops and takes a deep shuddering breath.

"Look I didn't come here to argue. I came here to tell you that your cycle of self-loathing and depression isn't healthy. What happened to Dagur was a tragedy. One that you couldn't have prevented. One that no one could have prevented."

She stops and looks at me.

"You. Need. To. Let. Go."

We're both panting form the exertion of arguing with each other. I stare at her blankly, not saying anything. Throwing her hands up in frustration she spins on her heel and stomps to the door. She grabs the door handle and rips it open. Just before she walks out she mutters over her shoulder.

"You're not the only one mourning."

The sound of the door shutting is a cutting reminder of how alone I am. Sighing I sit back down on my bed. I bury my head in my hands. My heart feels likes it trying to claw its way out my chest, so I take a deep breath and hold it for seven seconds before slowly letting it out. I do this a couple times until my heart rate slows and it no longer feels like the room is spinning. Toothless walks up to me and licks my face gently.

"I'm okay bud." I scratch his head.

The way he looks at me, it's almost as if he knows I'm lying. I don't remember falling asleep, but when I open my eyes I can see sunlight shinning through the window of my hut. Groaning I turn on my side. Lack of sleep is catching up with me. Of course the moment I think this I hear the sound of dragon claws scratching on my roof. I practically growl. I begin to hear shouting and another set of dragon claws.

"Do you think he's awake?"

"Duh! I mean the way you came blundering in he would have to be dead not to hear him.

"I don't know he's been kinda out of it these past couple days.

"Maybe we should dump water on him just to make sure?"

By this point I'm out if my bed and stumbling out the door.

I look up to see Ruffnut and Toughnut atop Barf and Belch resting on my roof.

"Oh look! His majesty has graced us with his presence." Snoutlout exclaims sarcastically.

I give him a look that could melt glass. I'm about to shout at the twins for waking me up when I hear Windshear landing behind me. I stiffen instantly, and all of us have gone silent.

00000


	2. Chapter 2

For a moment I'm frozen in time, still glaring at Snoutlout. Then my brain fully processes what is happening around me. I slowly turn around and find her staring at me. She's playing at the straps of her saddle, not quite meeting my gaze. I think if something to say but the words won't come out, it was like something had a invisible vise wrapped around my throat. So all I do is stare. After an eternity her eyes flick up towards me. She motions for the twins and Snotlout to take off, and they do in such a hurry they almost fall out of their saddles. Once they've departed she climbs down and walks towards me. She stops a couple feet short.

I let out a breath suddenly, not fully realizing I had been holding it in. She raises her head and...studies me. Her eyes switch back and forth from the bags under my eyes to the bloodshotness of them. I must be imagining things, because I could've sworn her features softened slightly.

"You haven't been sleeping." She states

"No." Is all I can manage to say back

She lets out a half laugh and places her hands on her hip. Looking over her shoulder at the water below she lets out a deep breath. After a moment she turns back to me.

"It wasn't your fault." The words hit me like a punch. "It wasn't."

She levels her eyes with mine.

"Yes." My voice is a hoarse whisper. "Yes it was"

"Hiccup" she gently placed both of her hands on my face. "No, it wasn't. We are all to blame for his dea-...for what happened to him."

Her voice chokes on the word death. It's been two weeks and none of us can quite force ourselves to admit that Dagur's dead. She squeezes my face and then climbs onto windshear.

"You should really pay more attention to Astrid. She misses you." With that she takes off.

Once she faded from view, I return back inside. I intended to go back to sleep, but the walls seemed to be closing in. Hurriedly I saddle up Toothless and we take to the skies. It doesn't take us long to reach cruising altitudes. Toothless' wings slice through the air as if it were a Sax through Yak butter. Feeling the wind against my face and watching the world recede below me gives me a sensation I haven't felt in a while. Serenity.

Something about putting distance between me and the ground convinces my brain the same thing is true about my problems. I lose track of how much time we spend in the air. I let Toothless guide us to where ever he wants us to go. He gently dives down and we get so close to the water that I can run my fingers through it. The spray is refreshing against my face. Toothless guides us into a rather large crevice through a weirdly shaped rock. For a brief moment the world is dark before we exit.

"C'mon bud. We've been out long enough, lets head back."

He seems as surprised at my words as I am, but to his credit he doesn't resist. He simply angles himself and turns around.

By the time we arrive it's nightfall and I can see the fires burning for each hut. Well every hut except mine. For a moment Toothless and I simply hover over our hut. Almost as it neither of us wants to be alone. Angrily I shove those thoughts away and I take Him in for a landing.

I strip off my riding gear and change into my bed clothing. I take of my prosthetic and let out a relaxed sigh as the tension evaporates. Stretching out on my bed my thoughts are slow and lazy. I find myself tracing the lines on my wall. Just as I'm about to sink into the warm arms of Nótt. When I notice breathing that doesn't belong to me or toothless.


	3. Chapter 3

I keep my breathing deep and steady, giving the false impression of sleep. My eyelids are slit and I take care to slowly scan the room. Something hard to do while not moving my head. I soak everything in, looking for anything out of place. Knocked over stools, misplaced clothes, or anything that wasn't how I left it. There the table directly beneath my window, my pencils had been moved. Not by much, but if you spend hours sitting their you would notice that it doesn't fit into the symmetry of my other projects. I frown slightly, why would they come through the window? It doesn't make sense, anyone would be able to see them. The more obvious choice would be to come through the access panel in the ceiling.

I keep listening for the breathing, I can't hear it for a moment then it picks back up. After a few seconds I've pin pointed the breathing to behind me and to the right. Moving slowly so as not to make noise I reach for Inferno. My hands have just grasped the hilt when I hear the floor creak.

My hands file back to my chest and I curse myself for flinching. The floor stops creaking and now I can hear the gentle thud of footsteps. They get closer and closer, now the person was standing in front of my bed. The steps were too quiet to be male, and they don't vibrate enough to be a dragon. Speaking of which, Toothless hasn't so much as blinked since this whole thing started. No matter how tired he is he should always be somewhat aware of his surroundings. That must mean he trust the intruder enough not to stir from his sleep. That was the last piece of the puzzle.

"Astrid that's a good way to give someone a heart attack."

Judging by the way she leapt back and knocked over my stuff I must have startled her.

"By the Gods hiccup you nearly scared me to death!" She snaps while picking up my objects.

" _Me?!"_ I laugh incredulously "I'm not the one sneaking into people's huts in the dead of night."

She chuckles at that. "Touché."

"What you even doing here?" I ask

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. And sits on the edge of my bed.

"Do you remember when I was sick and no matter how many times I complained you refused to leave? You stayed and took care of me."

She plays with her nails for a second before continuing.

"You didn't bail on me then, I shouldn't on you now. If you don't want talk that's fine. But being by yourself isn't healthy. The mind begins to unravel if it's left by itself for too long."

"You know if being a Dragon Rider doesn't work out you could try your hand at being a soothe sayer." I say chuckling.

"I'm serious." She says trying to be serious but a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

I take a deep sigh and run my fingers through my hair

"I'll admit, that I might not have been making it easy. What am I saying? You of all people should know about being difficult." I say with a smirk.

She feigns being insulted "Please you could teach a mule a thing too about being stubborn."

I hold my hands up in defeat, and lie back down. I think for a second then get back up.

"You can take the bed, I'll sleep on the hammock. Something tells me you didn't break into my hut just to be sent home."

"It's not breaking in if the doors open." She counters.

"Point in case. Difficult." She rolls her eyes, but I can see the tension ease out of her. My conscience pangs slightly. I don't like hurting Astrid in any capacity.

I settle into my hammock and Astrid does the same in my bed, for a brief moment I entertain the thought of joining her before banishing it. Sleeping with Astrid would tarnish her reputation, worse she could be crucified for it.

As I shift my weight and prepare myself to go to sleep I hear Toothless coo ever so gently. I smile, amused that he had been awake the whole time. I reach down and scratch his ear and he purrs. I'm about to fall back asleep when I realize that Astrid and my damn dragon had planned this together.


End file.
